We were very young when we met and still young when we married. Lucky in that joining, as in so many things. Lucky my step-grandmother was a weaver. Lucky her second husband loved Gary. Lucky to walk off the street in Cannon Beach and get a job in a bakery. Lucky our sons were born early but healthy. Lucky to be together 49 years after our first “date.” Lucky to be alive. Lucky to live here with a man I love.
We’re lucky to agree on politics, on religion and ethics and human decency. We listen to different music and read different books but we like the same Irish and Australian television murder mysteries.
We are both losing weight these days and committed to cleaning out the house and our daily walks on the beach to pick up trash. He prefers rough agates and I prefer flat sand-smoothed stones. We both get excited about a nice piece of green sea glass. We both hope for blue.
The second photo above is from last year, the pussy-hat march in Astoria. If I take one today, I will put it at the bottom, because Gary’s hair looks better and he might smile for the camera if I tease him.
It is our anniversary, but there is nothing playing at the local theater we want to see and “so much food in the house” Gary doesn’t see the point of going out to eat. I agree. I have ice cream in the works, and luscious salmon in the fridge and two large ripe avocados. We can stuff ourselves if we want on favorite foods.
When we were still young, and only together for a few years, people asked me all the time how we’d managed to stay together. There is a line from Rilke about that, which I cannot quote accurately, but I find togetherness is a continual process of moving toward one another, of acceptance of imperfection—perfection is an inhumane notion if ever there was one—and a certain trust and determination, a willingness to give more than 50% in faith that so will my partner when I need him. He always has.
Yesterday we sorted through and cleaned closets and cabinets and today we will likely find something else to do. Being useful, doing productive things, makes us happy.
We’ve been happy together for a long time. That is love too.