DISTANCE

Sometimes I lie to myself. For example, I promised myself a short run yesterday morning. I held out a single-mile run like a carrot. When I began running north, I was running straight into a 40mph wind and it was cold. The tide was going out and I repeated, “Just one mile.” I didn’t need to run all the way to what we term the Turnaround Rock, 1.5 miles north. I could stop at the metal stairs near my one-mile marker, turn, and walk a mile home. I was thinking there was a good chance that when I turned toward home the wind would be swinging around and I would still face a headwind. That happens sometimes as the sun rises. So I told myself: You can stop running after a mile.

I ran three miles.*

In most ways, I am a truthful person at least to other people. I do not make promises I do not intend to keep. I do not flatter unless that flattery is sincere. I do not praise unless that praise is deserved. Even back when I was teaching and I followed the wise rule of never criticizing a child to their parent, I did not lie. I said what was true: I like your son; your daughter has a wonderful sense of humor; he’s not doing as well as I think he can, but let’s just make sure he’s reading directions more carefully.

However, I do lie to myself. Mostly, I am aware I’m lying. And if I don’t know what I’m telling myself is untrue, it doesn’t count as a lie. I know as I promise myself a shorter run that I probably won’t run short.

My husband and I learned on Saturday that we had been exposed on Thanksgiving as well as on the following day to covid. So far we are testing negative. We tested this afternoon (fifth and sixth day from exposure) and we are still negative. We will test at least once or twice more. I’ll let you know. I might have a mild cold, or maybe stress? You think stress? We’ve both been fully vaccinated, boosted three times + flu shot.

How far can we go with this? What is distance to someone who used to run six to eight miles and now runs two or three? I am sewings holiday cards, sold a story, have another story coming out in an anthology, and I cut my hair. Other than Gary, no one has complimented my haircut, and that used to be another one of my rules: “If someone gets a haircut, tell him or her it looks good.” Because a new haircut usually does look good, even when you liked the way it looked before a little more. So it would be nice if 90% of my family didn’t ignore the change entirely.

On the other hand, when my first born was a baby, I always wore my hair up because every time I tried to take it down, he’d scream as if I suddenly had two heads. Maybe that’s how he sees this haircut?

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*How far and how fast? My fastest timed distance runs have been close to nine-minute miles. I once deliberately ran 4 miles of hard highway hills as fast as I could in nasty weather in less than 33 minutes. I assume these days I am running ten-minute miles. (When I record “3 miles” in my daily diary, I mean thirty minutes or more of running.) An old friend asked how I knew how far I ran. On the beach, I once counted houses and did the math for 50′ frontages. Dedicated roads have a 40′ right-of-way, I assumed houses had 50′. The truth is that some houses have 75′ or 100′ or more. My one-half mile marker to the north is Asbury Creek. When I could sprint for a half mile I never could get there in less that five and a half or six minutes. I know that marker is off. Other markers, determined by relationship to clocked highway mileage on highway 101, are more accurate. Portland is easier since it’s built on a 20-block/mile grid. I count blocks. In NW, where we have a condo, most blocks are double going east-west. Everything is up or downhill. I ran 54 blocks (2.5+miles) the other day in 23 minutes.